observation 3=jordan

As i went back to start revising my draft, i realized that i needed to spend the majority of the time making sure that i was being more detailed in my thoughts and opinions about the commercial i chose.  I needed to go more in-depth, describing more about the tone, audience's reaction, etc.  This would help to support my thesis and give more evidence to back it up.  Also, the length was a little short, and so i needed to decide how i was going to make the essay the minimum length it was suppose to be.  Another thing i decided to do was to add in more observation from the commercial and tell what exactly happens so that when readers read the analysis of it, they know what i am talking about.