Bethani Cooley
January 26, 2009

Verbal Abuse: How it affects people

What do you consider abuse? Would you say that a husband threatening to kill his wife because she did not cook what he wanted for dinner to be abuse? What about a husband raping his wife because of her refusing to have sex with him? What about someone you care about threatening to slit your throat with a knife because they are tired of dealing with you? All of these examples are considered types of abuse (Porter). Though, some of these examples are a bit extreme, do not think that these words have never been spoken before. Normal, everyday people deal with all types of abuse in today’s society.
Physical, verbal, sexual, and psychological abuse all represent forms of abuse (Patricelli). When these categories of abuse are compared, a point is always made that all types of abuse are significant and should by no means be ignored. In an advertisement used to represent how verbal and physical abuses are related, the picture describes just that. The picture suggests that someone yelling in a cruel manner can be very much considered abuse. It is not fair for either men or women to deal with this type of abuse which is verbal in a relationship.

Physical, verbal, sexual, and psychological abuses all affect people, which eventually, if not immediately, result negatively. Physical abuse is when one uses intimidation with physical action through actual pain or threat. Examples of physical abuse involve extreme physical beatings such as punching, kicking, hair pulling, etc. Other instances can be as simple as a slap or light push. Regardless, when these actions are used to hurt someone, it is considered physical abuse. When someone is sexually abused, the instance can be classified when any types of sexual contact are not wanted or agreed upon by the victim. Force is the important point that distinguishes wanted sex and unwanted sex. Psychological abuse, also known as mental and emotional abuse, is when the abuser controls his or her victim through manipulation. In most cases, the victim is controlled by information the abuser is holding over there head or simply even tricked to have different beliefs in their understanding of reality (Patricelli).

Verbal abuse is what this advertisement represents. This type of abuse is when someone uses offensive words or body language to show their disapproval to another person. Though, for many, verbal abuse is hard to recognize, which makes it very dangerous because it can cause this kind of abuse to last for long periods of time. This type of mistreatment can lead to low self-esteem and loss of self worth which no one should have to deal with (Anderson). Though, there is no doubt that physical abuse life-threatening, but the hurt involved with verbal and physical abuse equal could eventually, if severe, have the same outcome.

In this advertisement used to represent how verbal and physical are alike, the picture involves both a man and a woman. The man is apparently yelling at the woman which helps you understand this example is verbal. Coming out of this man’s mouth is an actual arm, which is pulling the woman’s hair, causing her to scream in a painful manner. This picture is kind of hard to look at, considering the harm the woman is obviously feeling. This important aspect of the picture is a good example of how the advertiser used pathos, which is one type of rhetorical appeal. The woman is showing emotion and the man is using unnecessary language towards her. If this picture had not had the arm coming out of the man’s mouth, it would have been an advertisement for physical abuse. Though, the intent of this ad was to represent how verbal abuse, such as yelling, ‘put downs’, and even name-calling are all hurtful to the person you direct them towards. The hand represents the words being spoken to the women, which are obviously disruptive and hurtful. As you can see, the woman is actually standing there and taking this abuse. This is often what happens when verbal abuse is occurring. The one that is being abusing most of the time simply takes it, because they feel as if it is something they deserve and should have to deal with to stay in a relationship with someone. The firm grip of the man’s hand indicates the power that he has within this relationship. He has a firm grip on her, and feels that no matter how hard he pulls, she will stand there and continue to deal with the abuse. The power and authority that his arm represents is a good example of ethos, which is another type of rhetorical appeal. His actions indicate his character in which he obviously relies on authority.

I think with this advertisement we have be careful not to categorize men as the only ones who verbally abuse. Parents can verbally abuse their children, and even females can be dominant in their relationship and abuse their significant other. I think they used the relationship example because it is most common for the man to be dominant of the female and actually perform this abuse. Many men feel like if they do not hit a woman, then it is not considered abuse, but they are very wrong.

At the bottom of this ad, there is writing which is intended for those who are being abused and are looking for help. The writing states, “Verbal abuse can be just as horrific. But you don’t have to suffer in silence. Call the Aware Helpline for advice and support. Monday to Friday 3 PM to 11 PM. 1-800-734-3386.” This advertisement is definitely directed towards society to help people realize that they themselves could be suffering from verbal abuse and not be aware of it. Many people suffer from it and want to get help but don’t know where to go. I think this advertisement did a good job reaching out to society as a place where people can talk about what they are dealing with. I think there should be more social awareness of verbal abuse. As for now, the best way to help others is to be supportive to their problems by listening and making sure that we ourselves are not practicing this type of abuse towards the people we care about, or on anyone for that matter. If you know someone who is suffering from abuse, please act now, before it is too late.

Porter, Allison. “Examples of Abuse.” Hidden Abuse: Hidden Abuse Information. 2006. 23 Jan. 2009 http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Types/example.htm

Patricelli, Kathryn. “Types of Abuse.” Mental Help. 14 Dec. 2005. 23 Jan. 2009 http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=8476&cn=2

Anderson, Kerby. “Verbal Abuse.” U Membership. 14 July 2002. Probe Ministries. 23 Jan 2009 http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/probe/docs/verbalabuse.html

Verbal Abuse. Aware Helpline, Singapore. 2008. 23 Jan. 2009 http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://osocio.org/images/uploads/aware-helpline-verbal1_thumb.jpg&imgrefurl=http://osocio.org/message/verbal_abuse_can_be_just_as_horrific/&usg=__XIxy_K3I_BYUYv57ONOSWQC9jwc=&h=331&w=468&sz=28&hl=en&start=9&um=1&tbnid=rgS3IkT6H_JDLM:&tbnh=91&tbnw=128&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dverbal%2Babuse%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Dactive%26rlz%3D1T4ADBF_enUS265US267%26sa%3DN