Observation 3

Revising a paper can help develop a rough draft into an outstanding paper. Substantial evidence for a thesis of a paper is crucial. Although I used details of my Target commercial to support my thesis, after revising my paper, I realized that more was needed. I re watched the commercial several times to see what details I missed. I remarked more on the tone of the commercial. This would give more insight into what the audience will take as an immediate impression of the commercial. I also developed a clearer rhetorical analysis. I mentioned how the sequence of the phrases highlighted in the commercial reach a climax in the end. I also added more details about the audience that Target is actually attempting to reach. I added a works cited page to avoid plagiarism.