Observation 3- Bethani

As I want back to revise my first draft, I wanted to make sure that I put more detail and make into my topic. I wanted to be more specific so that my readers would understand what I was talking about. In my first draft I had three really long paragraphs and I know that it was incorrect. I went back and made sure that I separated my thoughts and made them more clear. I also had to go back and put my works cited within my paper. Though, honestly, I was not sure as to exactly how to do this so i know I will need to get some help to make sure I did this correctly and throughout the paper accurately. This topic is very significant in today's world so I definitely went back and put more intelligent words in this paper so that people would not take this subject lightly. I do think I need to put more rhetorical terms and definitions in my paper because the readers need to understand the purpose of my writing.